Daydreaming in the forest. (Open)

[magiconmars]

Spectra walked out of the academy, her head hung low, her hoodie pulled over her head, covering her features to the outside world. Only the people who knew her would recognize her. She smiled gently to herself as she heard the sound of bird song, the noise echoing through her music. She loved the sound of nature, it calmed her. She currently was being watched at all times, she had suffered another panic attack recently. A bad one, it had resulted in her almost strangling the girl who had brought on the attack. She carried on walking, down the path, past the pond where a boy sat playing the guitar, past the apple tree where the apple’s were bright red and inviting. She would eat one, but she hated the flavor of them. In her opinion, they were sour things, with no actual point.

Eventually, she found her way to the spot she wanted. A place in the forest, well, just outside of it, on the outskirts. She sat down in the long grass which swayed in the breeze, each wisp of air bringing new smells towards her. Flower’s from the garden, an earthy smell from the forest and a soft tang of fruit from the lawn. She smiled in contentment, leaning against the tree behind her. Rubbing the shadows under her eyes, dark and almost permanent. She counted back on her hands, she hadn’t slept in… she thought about it. About 3 days now. She knew it wasn’t healthy, her counselor told her over and over again. But she couldn’t go to sleep. She just couldn’t. She shuddered violently through her hoodie as she remembered the horrific nightmares which haunted her mind each and every night. Being crowded, losing her Mum, being taken away from her family. All of these thoughts were made worse each time she closed her eyes. That was why she was here. That was what she was supposed to be fighting against. Currently, the progress was small and some of the counselors were talking about her behind her back, muttering about how her fears were ‘il-logical.’

She snorted, amused at what they said, had they ever suffered a panic attack, been in a coma? No, didn’t think so.

[denny william holton]

It was one of those days. Today was a day where Denny was in a spectacular mood when he woke up; he just hoped that it would stay that way throughout the day. However one of the bad things that his counselors saw about these great highs that Denny experienced was that he was completely unwilling to do anything that they directed that he should do to “get better.” He felt invincible whenever he was in this much of a good mood, nothing could bring him down, or so he felt. Sooner or later though there was going to be something, Denny didn’t know what, but something that would either bring him back down to a normal, safe mood or to a dangerously dark mood.

Bouncing out of his dorm room Denny practically skipped down the hallway saying a cheerful hello to anybody that walked by. Now Denny wasn’t too sure if any of them were actually there but he was certain at least some of the people he said hi to weren’t just figments of his schizophrenic imagination. Hallucinations weren’t very common for Denny, but they did happen on enough occasions to be worrisome. Anyway after waltzing down the hallway Denny didn’t bother going to the cafeteria, he didn’t particularly like going to meals when there were crowds because of the very concern he had in the hallway. It was easier for Denny’s moods to swing when he was in crowds too because there were so many things that could set him off.

Deciding against the cafeteria Denny made his way outside. Just as he pushed open the doors and stepped into the beautiful sun light the whispers started. They were awfully annoying, but Denny tried to ignore them as he walked across the lawn. Occasionally he would mumble a reply or shush the annoying rambling in his head but it would just get louder and louder. Shut up! Denny mumbled to himself as the forest came into sight. Usually when the voices got loud Denny sought out places that were quiet and where he knew that nobody else would be so he could tell the voices in his head apart from those that were actually real.

Just as he was approaching the forest he saw something, rather someone. Denny stood there for a good five minutes trying to decide if she was real or if she was a hallucination. Stop it! Denny said angrily to himself and shook his head back and forth. It wasn’t like it was impossible for the girl to be real, plenty of people found the forest comforting, but rarely did Denny actually run into someone while he was there. Most people didn’t really understand how Denny’s mind worked, so they wouldn’t understand his apprehension during his whole situation. Plus normal people didn’t have three voices telling him that she was real, a ghost, or a hallucination and not be able to tell which one was actually his own rational thoughts and which one was the crazy speaking.

Maybe the crazy was going on overload but Denny decided that he’d just go check and see for himself. Marching up to the girl sitting in the grass, abruptly he sat down right and front of her and just stared. He was trying to figure out if she was actually real or not, appearing kind of crazy in the process. The voices in his head were yelling all different things Be quiet already! Denny said to himself, but the girl probably didn’t know that. Still staring at her with his bright blue eyes Denny raised his hand and poked the girl square in the forehead, hoping to dissolve one of his theories at least. Well at least she wasn’t a ghost, now he just had to figure out if she was real or a figment of his insane mind.

WORDS : 643
STATUS : finished
TAGGED : spectra
OUTFIT : clickheres
NOTES : lalala here ya go

[magiconmars]

Spectra wasn’t aware of the presence of the boy until he sat in front of her, his expression almost confused. For a moment, she was scared. She always was with people. But then realized he meant no harm being here. He was probably here to get away from the academy. The exact same reason she did… well, almost. Most of it was claustrophobia. After a quick glance at the boy, she couldn’t see anything which told her that he was a threat, if anything, he looked lost and a little bit apprehensive about the whole situation.

As he stayed quiet, so she, his bright blue eyes, almost like crystal, staring into her green ones, the colour of grass. His expression was like he was answering an incredibly hard equation in his mind, or trying to remember something that he had long since forgotten. After a while, she took in what she was wearing. It was sort of mix and match with a shock of blonde hair showing from under his hat. She hadn’t seen him around before. Mind you, she never really paid attention to anyone. They mostly ignored her. So she ignored them back.


‘OW!’ She squeaked as he poked her square between the eyes. She lifted her hand to wear he had poked her. She glared at him as she rubbed the spot on her forehead. What was wrong with him? ‘Why’d you do that?’ She said quietly. ‘I ain’t done anything to you.’ She added after finally deciding she wasn’t about to be killed, well… if she was checking she was alive. She guessed there was some meaning to it. Most of the time she did look like the living dead… not something you see advertised often. Mind you, she thought to herself. Most people don’t live here. If they did, the thing that classed you as weird would be the norm. For a few minutes, she was occupied with this thought, her brain thinking through the logic of it, her attention completely off the boy. Then, after a few minutes, she returned to reality. ‘Who are you?’ She asked, amazed even at herself that she hadn’t walked off yet. Maybe those new drugs had actually been doing something.


Tagged: denny
Status: Finished
Outfit (Thought I should add this in) www.polyvore.com/spectra_outfit/set?id=24813746

[denny william holton]

The people that actually knew Denny were quite used to his insane antics. Though there were few people that could actually handle Denny’s mood swings and mutterings to himself, there were still enough people to have had to go through the same thing that this girl was going through. Just about any new person that Denny met was always submitted to some kind of test to see if they were real or not because when Denny first came to the Academy he thought that he made a really good friend, but in reality he was just a figment of his imagination and not actually a person. Denny took the news as a hard blow but he recovered after a few weeks of a severely bad mood and started to socialize a bit more earning himself a few friends that either stuck through his mood swings or just talked to him when he was in a good mood.

Denny was pretty sure that he hadn’t run into this girl before, she looked a little younger than he was maybe a year or so. If she didn’t know Denny then she would probably be freaked out and think that he was insane, well he is insane so she would be having the right hunch now. If Denny was out in the real world he probably would keep to himself because of the risk of everybody finding out he was crazy and embarrassing his family. However at the Academy he was more than willing to be himself because everyone here has some kind of issues so Denny being crazy wasn’t that out of the ordinary.

When she squeaked when Denny poked her it didn’t convince him that she was real. Hallucinations can talk, have feelings, and even feel real so the only way for Denny to really be able to tell if someone was real was if he asked someone else that he knew if the person he was talking to was actually there. Plenty of people were used to telling Denny if the person he was talking to was real, they usually just laughed and said a yes or no and moved on like it was a normal occurrence, which it was. However there wasn’t anybody there to tell Denny if this girl was living and breathing or if she was just some crazy part of his head.

Hmmmmm Denny mumbled to himself when the girl asked why he poked her. Maybe she is real… Denny said to himself then looked back at the girl and said to her, I was just testing something out is all. Even if she wasn’t real he still would’ve felt bad if he didn’t answer her question at all. Even to his hallucinations Denny was usually nice, well he was nice when he was in a good mood, when he was in a bad mood he usually starts raving like a mad man at what looks like nothing to everybody else.

My name? Denny repeated, not because he didn’t understand the question, it was pretty simple, but because he was trying to decide if a figment of his mind would know his name or not. Before saying anything Denny waved a hand in front of her face as another kind of test, a stupid one sure, but he thought it was a good one. Well… Denny said still thinking about it, then deciding it was best to just answer in case she actually was real. I’m Denny! he said with a big grin on his face. Even if she wasn’t real he could still be happy to meet someone new, sure he would be disappointed if she wasn’t, but he has leaned to deal with things like that over the years. Who are you? Denny asked cautiously.

WORDS : 631
STATUS : finished
TAGGED : spectra
OUTFIT : clickheres
NOTES : lalala here ya go

[magiconmars]

Spectra, overall, was confused by this boy in front of her. Even more so now than before. She nodded when he repeated the question asking what his name was, wondering if she would recognize him when she could link his face to a name. She couldn’t.

When he waved his hand in front of her face, she leant back a bit, as if she was going to get hit. She frowned at him, she had met people who she classed as weird before, but this was freaking her out. Just a little bit. She breathed slowly, as her counselor had told her to. In and out, in and out. She kept to this pattern, keeping her mind on it. She didn’t want to freak him out, as she didn’t know what was wrong with him. What would trigger the reaction. She listed through the possibilities in her mind, crossing out drug abuse and eating disorder. She could tell from the way he looked that he wasn’t part of that group. They appeared ill and under-nourished all the time. 24/7. She also guessed he wasn’t suicidal or a sex addict. They were pretty easy to spot aswell. As she thought, she tilted her head to one side, as if reasoning something. She played with her necklace, twining it through her thin fingers. Musician’s hands. Her father called them. Spectra could play piano. But she hadn’t in a long time. It reminded her of her past.

At one point of them just staring at each other, he seemed pre-occupied, talking with himself under his breath as he looked away. She crossed out a few more from the list in her mind. ‘Testing something out?’ She asked, ‘What… like an experiment?’ Her voice was ernest, wanting to know more. Inside, she was a curious person, always ready to ask questions. A side she didn’t show. She knew she couldn’t let herself zone out. She didn’t trust this boy 100% yet. Who knew what he would do if she wasn’t paying attention.

‘Hi Denny.’ She said with a tentative smile, a small curve of her lips. ‘I’m Spectra.’ She answered, wondering if she had actually managed to make a friend. Her first in a long time. ‘I’ve never seen you around here before.’ She said, ‘I’m the only one who seems to like it in here, but that’s coz I can’t go inside.’ She shrugged, as if something that mattered greatly to her didn’t matter at all. ‘I’m a phobic.’ She said, properly introducing herself to the boy… Denny. She wondered if saying that she was a high risk patient would be going a little too far. A lot of people ran a mile when she said something like that. They just didn’t understand. But… a lot of people didn’t understand one another. Another reason to hate society.

[denny william holton]

Denny was pretty sure that this girl was scared of him, even if she was real or not. Well Denny would probably be kind of freaked out if some random person came up to him, randomly sat down, poked him in the face, and started talking to themselves. Yup that would definitely be a reason to freak out, besides Denny didn’t even know what the girl’s issue was yet. She didn’t look like the sex addict or anger management type, maybe an OCD or eating disorder, a lot of girls came in for that. Honestly Denny is horrible at guessing what people’s issues are, only when people were really upfront about what was wrong with them could Denny tell. Hell he got punched in the face by plenty of anger management kids because he didn’t notice that they had that kind of issue.

When she asked if his little poking test was like an experiment Denny’s entire face erupted in a smile and he noticeably jumped where he sat. YES! Denny said excitedly, pointing his finger at her That’s exactly what I’m doing!. Of course this reaction was completely over the top, but Denny really was riding on cloud 9 right now. Even the doubt if this girl was real couldn’t bring him down at the moment, surely something would eventually but Denny just hoped that he could feel this invincibly happy for a while before he sunk down to the angry darkness again. Whenever Denny’s moods changed for the worse he knew it and didn’t like it, but it just made him madder that he couldn’t control it which made everything worse.

Hellooo Spectra Denny said smiling so wide that his bright blue eyes lit up like spot lights. Right now he could easily be compared to a puppy that just met a brand new person that was certain would love it forever. Now if Denny were in a different mood, say a much much worse mood, he probably wouldn’t be as cheerful and puppy like, but Spectra got lucky and happened to meet a very very happy Denny. There are plenty of people that met Denny on a bad day and now avoid him at all cost, there are few that hold grudges but the ones that do are usually people that don’t know that Denny is… crazy.

Oh don’t worry I can’t go in there yet either! Denny told her with a smile on his face Too many people.. So maybe she wasn’t a figment of his imagination, the other hallucinations that Denny has had conversations with never had such detail to them. Even the one that he had talked to for a month had never mentioned having any issues to get landed in Rosedale Academy. This led Denny to lean closer to the decision that she was in fact a normal person and not some crazy part of his head that decided to make him see things that weren’t there. Phobic? Of what? Denny asked excitedly truly curious but then he realized that maybe she didn’t want to spill those kind of details so he quickly added Oh wait! You don’t have to tell me! At that moment a voice in his head chose the time to tell him he was a moron causing Denny to say, Shut up! Looking back at Spectra Denny added happily, Oh yeah I’m crazy.

WORDS : 564
STATUS : finished
TAGGED : spectra
OUTFIT : clickheres
NOTES : lalala here ya go

[magiconmars]

She leant back once again as he leant forwards, almost examining if she was actually there. Something clicked in her mind. Did he think that she wasn’t real? That she was just a figment of his imagination? An image? If he did, he had an extremely vivid imagination to come up with someone with as many problems as her. But, she guessed she was lucky. She could roughly trace back to wear 2 of her fears came from, but the claustrophobia? Absolutely no clue, and that was the worse out the three of them. Sometimes she wondered if it was something to do with when she was a child, still living at home, before she came to America. Had something happened to her there? She dismissed the thought and then turned her attention to Denny in front of her, who was still grinning. He made her smile actually. He seemed like he was permanently happy today, and that nothing could stop him.

‘It’s ok, I don’t mind.’ She said when he asked what her phobia was. ‘If you know what’s wrong with me, it makes me feel better, so I’m not keeping a secret.’ She explained with a shrug. ‘I have 3 fears.’ She held up three fingers. ‘One of people and society, which isn’t that bad.’ She put down one finger. ‘And the next to are the worse, I can’t sleep or go inside, I have severe claustrophobia. That’s why I’m here. My counselor says I need to ‘cool off.’ I sorta had a panic attack yesterday’ She explained slowly, her voice steady. ‘I like being outside, your free to do as you wish with no barriers.’ She added with a smile.

‘Your not crazy!’ She assured him when he made that comment ‘ Well… I guess we all are… otherwise we wouldn’t be here.’ She laughed, as if she had made a joke. ‘What are you? I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.’

[denny william holton]

Certainly this girl was probably frightened of Denny by now. Randomly he came out of no where and sat down in front of her, poked her head, talked to himself, and asked her questions that he had no position to have to know the answers. If Denny was sane, well as sane as you can get at Rosedale Academy, then he would be kind of freaked out by someone like himself. Especially since she was phobic, not to be stereotypical, but most of them didn’t particularly handle some of his crazy quirks as well as say an alcoholic or addict type would.

As Spectra talked Denny nodded like a bobble head and when her fingers went up his attention shifted quickly to the three upheld fingers. First she explained that she had a fear of people and stuff, something Denny could understand. If Denny didn’t put enough effort into his daily interactions he could lock himself in his room and avoid people because he was afraid of how he’ll react to them or them to him. The reasons Denny would be afraid of people were probably different than Spectra’s but still Denny could relate to her. The whole time she spoke he looked at her intently with his bright blue eyes, it was probably a little over exaggerated, but hey there was nothing raining on Denny’s parade today.

Spectra finished telling him about her fear of society and people her finger fell and Denny’s whole head followed it but it quickly bobbed up again to her face as she began to tell him that she was afraid of sleeping. Denny didn’t understand that one. Well he did have unpredictable sleeping patterns, but usually he got his sleep some way. Sometimes he fell asleep in the weirdest places, one time he fell asleep under a coffee table at his house when he still lived there and wasn’t a disgrace. Another time when he was younger he had fallen asleep right next to a dance floor at a wedding that his parents drug him to.

When her finger went down again Denny’s eyes followed then whipped back to her as she started to speak again. Claustrophobia, really bad claustrophobia apparently, seemed to be what made her stay outside as to why Denny did. Denny didn’t like big crowds because of all the voices on the outside and the inside, it was like everybody was trying to get there word heard. It gave him a serious headache to have all those voices. Not only did it give him a headache it also made him more irritable, which led to him going into a very bad mood. More than once Denny has been sent to solitary because he lost it in a crowd.

Finally the last finger fell and Denny could concentrate on just talking to her. Not crazy? That was the first time someone has said that to him in a long time. Maybe she thought that he was kidding, that he had some kind of issue like anger management or sex addiction or something, but Denny was at Rosedale because he was in fact crazy. Well at least he was deemed mentally instable by the best shrinks in the United States thanks to his parents. Yes I am Denny nodded furiously. Mimicking Spectra Denny held up his own fingers, but only two. I have bipolar disorder Denny said then put down one finger. And I am schizophrenic he said putting down his second finger.

Like a jinx, just as he said he was schizophrenic the voices started getting louder. I don’t think she’s real, you look like an idiot right now a voice yelled in his head. But I think she’s real Denny whispered, arguing with the voice that sounded completely real. Agreeing with an idiot like you makes it hard to admit that I think she’s real another voice told him. She is real! Denny said slamming his fist on the ground. Looking back at Spectra Denny smiled apologetically, Sorry, but are you real? It may have been stupid to ask because even if she wasn’t real she would say she was, either way though it would make Denny feel a little bit better if she said she was.

WORDS : 708
STATUS : finished
TAGGED : spectra
OUTFIT : clickheres
NOTES : lalala here ya go